sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
