'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
