Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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