Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
