I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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