So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
