Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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