whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's just like the Real World with babies
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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