She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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