I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
