Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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