i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
