Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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