Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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