You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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