Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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