Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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