just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
where are my eyebrows?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
