Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Two words: blizzard sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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