Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
