Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
