I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
