Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
