I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
