He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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