did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
