I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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