Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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