Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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