Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
