I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
