she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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