i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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