I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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