hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
