Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
