i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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