So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
