i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
