Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
