Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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