At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
