Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
