he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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