If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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