well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
