Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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