Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
