Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
