Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Randomize
