careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
