That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
