His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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