i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
