Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
