There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
