At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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