apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
