Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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