Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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