So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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