Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
