some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
