Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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