So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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