Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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