Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
