It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
